How to deal with a Wandering Eye by Dr. Limor, Sexologist

So “How do you deal with the Wandering Eye?” I want to start by saying that we need to keep in mind that as a species, as humans, we’re not monogamous.

Transcript From Dr. Limor Blockman on
“How to deal with a Wandering Eye”

So “How do you deal with the Wandering Eye?” I want to start by saying that we need to keep in mind that as a species, as humans, we’re not monogamous. I don’t want to go into the whole biological and evolutionary factor of it, but I just want to say that humans are not monogamous. So don’t over judge yourself for the idea that you think about and look at other women. That’s very natural. What you do with it is a different factor, but I want to start with emphasizing that it is a natural thing. The fact that you marry somebody or make a commitment to somebody doesn’t change the fact that you are stimulated. In another manner, I would say you are committed but not dead. So none of these senses are being turned off. It’s very natural.

The second thing to keep in mind is that you should be honest about it. I’m not saying, “Oh. I lust over your best friend.” That’s not being honest. That’s being rude. That’s an unfortunate thing to do. That’s not embraced by your partner. But if you are honest about the idea of lust and love being things that are very different from each other, maybe she’ll have the same thought process. So you guys can share it, have the same experience, and then be much more comfortable with the whole idea.

Don’t lie to her. Don’t cheat. Being lied to is probably more painful than the actual idea of you lusting someone else. I don’t advocate it. I think that things should be discussed than be lied about. Nichi said that, “What makes an unhappy marriage is not the lack of love, but the lack of friendship.” If you are friends with your partner, you shouldn’t lie to them. Just be right.

The last thing I want to suggest is to discuss consensual monogamy. Now there are many lifestyles out there that have to do with non-monogamy, but that’s a whole different topic. A discussion about it should be on the table. You may see different things. You may see things not in the same manner, but it should be a discussion that is brought up as a couple that has an open communication going between them both. There are many things to discuss when it comes to the Wandering Eye. We are going to enhance the discussion about it in a future podcast.

We hope you enjoyed this podcast titled: How to deal with a Wandering Eye.

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