How to be perceived as a better lover – By Maya Jordan

Here today to talk a little bit about how to be perceived as good and bad in bed because it’s all about perception, isn’t it? – and actual techniques. So I’m going to share with you a few quick tips.

Below is a transcript on ‘How to be perceived as a better lover’
By Maya Jordan, MSW (Master’s in Social Work)

This is Maya Jordan with Here today to talk a little bit about how to be perceived as good and bad in bed because it’s all about perception, isn’t it? – and actual techniques. So I’m going to share with you a few quick tips.


My first tip is do you like the way your lady smells? If you like the way that she smells, she’s going to get that right away because through the nerves and your nose, you actually transmit to the sexual centers of your brain different signals that communicate whether or not you’re attracted to a person. It’s all based on sense of smell. We tend to match up with folks who’s smell is not similar to our own, so contrasting individuals tend to smell good to us. That’s why that whole reference of opposites attract exists because of the olfactory nerves and their trigger to the sexual centers of the brain.


Another way to be perceived as good in bed is to really get down in there, and get down and dirty. What I mean by this is that you’re really investigating her, her whole body, and that she knows you’re into her. That’s a quality problem to have because investigation of her will produce pleasure and sexual response. It also indicates a level of curiosity is present in you, as well as some creativity. Everybody knows creative lovers are the best. They’re the best at alternating positions, creative finger play, creative oral play, trying new things on for size like kink, and just generally keeping things fun and satisfying.


What’s another way to be perceived as good in bed? Well, are you giving her oral all the time? If you are, she’s going to perceive you as being good in bed. Guys who give lots of oral and do it well, mind you, do it well, are perceived as being good in bed because oral never goes out of style. If you can’t keep your mouth off of her lady parts, then she’s going to definitely know that you’re not half-assing it. You are in this to win it. It also implies that you trust her, and there’s a level of communication there because nobody wants to put his mouth on something that’s not disease free. You know what I’m talking about? So you’ve been tested. You’re doing clean safe sex. When you actually do go down on her, she’s going to be enjoying it all the way.


Another quick tip for being perceived as good in bed – are you lingering and taking your time? Are you allowing her to get comfortable with you? Let’s just be frank. If she’s not relaxed during sex, she’s not having a good time. So unless she’s in the middle of a jaw-dropping toe-squeezing fist-clenching orgasm, she’s got to be relaxed to enjoy herself. There’s also no reason to rush the process of having sex because a woman’s response cycle sexually consists of different phases, which are excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. That needs to be respected. The likelihood of her being lubed up and ready to go in 15 seconds is slim to none, okay? So respect her and her response cycle.


Are you having sex like you’re a 15-year old boy? Do you know the type of guy who masturbates quickly, urgently, quietly in the bathroom hiding from mom? Sex ­­guru, Charlie Glickman likes to say just stop having sex like you’re 15 years old, and I really like that. There’s more to a man’s pleasure than just erection, penetration, and orgasm. Just as there’s more to a woman’s. It’s the pursuit of pleasure that can take a lifetime to master, or for your average person to even get interested in it, so slow down.


Are you moaning during sex, talking sexy smack, getting verbal with her as a means of turning her on? Are you sending her naughty text messages, or naughty pictures, or things that are going to get her turned on? If you are, then you’re going to be perceived as a better lover.


Are you encouraging her to masturbate? We all know that masturbation is the key to good sex. So if you’re encouraging her to masturbate, that means you’re doing it yourself and you’re in touch with your body and what it can do. You know there’s nothing more pathetic than a guy who’s got a great body and is totally out of touch with it. So get in touch with your body on how it moves, on how it operates by masturbating and figuring out what takes you the distance.


My last quick tip would be are you reading up on the subject of sex? This can work in your favor or against you depending on who you are. If you’ve got volumes and volumes of books on sex and you’re not a sex therapist, I would begin to ask the question, “What’s going on here?” But if you’ve got some erotica volumes and some sexy photography books and a couple of porns, that’s cool. That’s all good. That’s a healthy sense of experimentation. That’s a good thing.


You know what? I’m going to throw in an extra one here. How to be perceived as a good lover? You need to condone the use of toys and not feel threatened by them. A lot of guys feel threatened by sex toys, and there’s simply no reason to be. A sex toy is completely different from you, the living version of you with your living-breathing penis. A dildo just simply does not suffice. Now a vibrator is going to get her to go to town a lot faster and more efficiently than your fingers can. So if you can use them in conjunction with your fingers and in conjunction with your tongue, you’re going to be doing a lot better in bed.


So there you have it. Some quick tips for being perceived as a better lover. Until next time, this is Maya Jordan for

If you’re looking to enhance your sex, dating, or relationships Maya Jordan offers personal coaching, webinars, and workshops at a reasonable cost.  Feel free to contact Maya at for more information.

Leave a Reply