Friends With Benefits Relationship…Find It Keep It!

Friends With Benefits Relationship…Find It Keep It!


There are all sorts of new ways to relate to women and to have relationships with them. In decades past, the only way to get sex steadily with one woman was either for her to be a “kept” woman or a mistress, or to marry and commit to her. Things have certainly changed. What is responsible for the huge differences in the world of sex and dating? It can be attributed to altering sexual mores about what women should and shouldn’t do, enjoy, or engage in. Friends with benefits is a relationship that is beneficial to both the man and the woman, involves no commitment and is honest without anyone feeling cheated, taken advantage of, or uncomfortable about the situation.

What does friends with benefits mean?

A friends with benefits relationship is one where both parties understand that the only relationship that is formed is one that is guided by mutual sexual gratification. There are no emotions, no feelings and no jealousy. It is a situation where two people can maintain a friendship that is based on sex only. Friends with benefits is termed in such a way because it is about two people who are friends, but have no romantic feelings or aspirations for the future with each other. They maintain kindness and friendship for each other but they don’t interfere in one another’s lives, hold any attachment and are certainly not jealous of the other’s other attachments.

Just like with any other friendships there are certain unwritten rules that accompany such a relationship. The friends with benefits rules are more crucial than other types of friendships because it is based on many more boundaries and limits than other friendships. Unlike regular friendships that just happen naturally, a friends with benefits arrangement involves clear understanding and a high degree of communication.

The friends with benefits label came about because it is based on having a friendship with a girl, and benefits that are outside of a normal friendship. Of course, every friendship with someone has benefits, the type of benefits from this relationship are much more than when you have a “girlfriend”. When you have a friend with benefits, you get the advantage of sex without the cuddling, without the having to listen and empathize and you have the friendship where the only person that you have to worry about is yourself. In fact, most of the relationship rules go against the normal rules of any type of boy girl relationship. Hence, that is where the benefits come from.

If you are going to engage in friends with benefits, there are certain things that you should keep in mind and pay close attention to. The best friends with benefits advice that I have heard is condensed below. If you follow these rules for engagement, there will never be any resentment, altering of the friendship, or hard feelings.

1. Don’t get involved

If you want to make sure to keep it a friend with benefits arrangement then it is important not to become involved emotionally. There are going to be times when you engage in sexual activity when one or both of you is going to be feeling slightly emotional. The best thing to do when you are emotional, or dealing with something serious in your life, is not to mix this type of friendship with real friendship. If you become emotionally attached, or there are expectations placed upon one another, the whole relationship is going to change irrefutably. Keep your emotional distance if you want to ensure that the relationship will last.

2. Jealousy has no place

When you have a friends with benefits relationship you have to be able to see your “friend” with other guys and not be jealous and vice-versa. There is no possession to this type of relationship. Just like you are going to have other encounters outside of the current relationship, they are too, and you need to find a way to separate yourself from it. The best thing to do is to never talk about having sex with anyone other than each other. If you discuss what goes on in other arrangements you are opening the potential for jealousy to creep in.

3. Communication is key

You have to be honest in these types of relationships if you want them to last. Honesty is the basis of the entire relationship. Not only can communication make the sex that much more incredible, it can stop any misunderstanding or unjustified assumptions that either of you may be making. Being open and honest about what your needs and wants are is the key to making a friends with benefits relationship last for the long term.

4. Respect one another’s privacy

If someone says that they don’t want to talk about it, they don’t want to talk about it. Allowing each other privacy is what separates this type of relationship from other sexual relationships. You don’t need to know who else they are seeing, or what is going on in their personal life. It is best that you both keep your personal life just that, personal. If you cross the line and become more than just a regular friendship pairing things can get really hairy.

5. Don’t ever go on a date

Sure, dates can be fun. If you have a function at work, or there is a wedding that you are having a hard time finding a date to, go alone. It is best that you never go on outings that feel more like dates. If you can picture yourself in a boyfriend, girlfriend relationship, it will become more difficult to carry on a more casual one. The deeper you get in, the harder it is to get out.

6. Make rules about boundaries ahead of time

If you don’t want anyone to know about your arrangement that is something that you need to set boundaries about beforehand. If you want to make sure they never meet your roommate, your mom, or anyone in your family then those are things that you should discuss and have in place before the relationship is in full swing. If you just assume that the other knows the rules, it can cause a lot of trouble.

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