All about Casual Dating, Casual Sex & Casual Encounters by Maya Jordan

This is Maya Jordan for the, and this is a glimpse into Casual Sex.


Below is a transcript on ‘All about Casual Dating, Casual Sex & Casual Encounters by Maya Jordan’
By Maya Jordan, MSW (Master’s in Social Work)

This is Maya Jordan for the, and this is a glimpse into Casual Sex. So polyamory, which is a set of conventions wherein somebody decides they want more than one partner and they want to be emotionally and physically and spiritually connected to these individuals, so more than one.

It sounds really complex to me. Maybe it’s because I just don’t get it, but it sounds more complicated than I want my life to be. I mean having to satisfy two or more people’s emotional and physical needs makes me just want to barf, I mean really.

Polyamory is way different from swinging, in that in swinging, there’s designated playtime, and there’s a primary couple. In that designated playtime, you go outside that primary relationship, but you don’t keep tabs on those other people that you play with wherein you are extending your feelings toward them, and having this big relationship with them. It’s just playtime. It’s just casual dating with swinging because everybody consents to playing. When playing is done, it’s done.

It’s different from casual sex dating. In that, casual sex – just straight up casual sex, which swinging can a lot of times entail, doesn’t make a pretense out of love being involved at all. Casual dating is the ability to have sexual casual encounters in the absence of any romantic feelings.

So these are the top 10 reasons why casual encounters works.

Number one – there is no rejection. You both know what the game plan is. If you’re getting to gather, you’re not getting to gather for anything other than to have sex. So you know what’s going on. There’s no rejection.

Number two – there’s no baggage. There’s no dealing with her issues, or his issues. If he can’t get it up and can’t perform, you don’t worry about that. You’re not head-shrinking him to figure out why he can’t perform. It’s just he can’t live up to his part of the game. If he can’t live up to his part of the game, then he shouldn’t be playing the game. You need to find somebody else to have a casual encounter with, right?

Number three – you only have to worry about you. You only have to worry about you. You don’t have to worry about them. It kind of goes back to number two where there’s no baggage. It’s a beautiful thing.

Number four – you don’t have to pay for dates because the only reason you’re going together is to have sex. So there’s no need to pay for dates, and going out to dinner, and sushi, and drinks, and all that horseshit. You are just getting together for casual sex. Again, it’s a beautiful thing.

Number five – there’s no pressure about what’s next. There’s no worrying like what’s going to happen after this landmark is crossed? What is our relationship going to evolve into? There’s no worrying about that because it’s just casual. Right?

Number six – you don’t have to worry about special dates like their birthday, or Christmas, or Valentine’s Day, or any of that stuff. You don’t have to worry about it because they’re not your steady date. They are just your sexual partners.

Number seven – you never have to say you’re sorry if for some reason things don’t go well that night. They didn’t get you off. You don’t have to say you’re sorry. You just move on. There’s no need to placate or make them feel better about themselves. There’s no need for you to make yourself lower than them. You’re both equals. You’re both consenting adults. You’re both getting together to have sex, and that’s about it.

Number eight – there’s no performance anxiety because you know exactly what you’re dealing with. There’s no big hopes involved, or big aspirations involved. This isn’t aspirational sex where we’re going to settle down and get married some day. This is casual sex.

Number nine – you don’t have to deal with them being nuts, or crazy, or just whack-a-doodle. You don’t have to deal with it. If they turn out to be crazy, then you simply hang up the phone the next time they call and not answer it. Right? Right. You don’t have to deal with crazy. It’s not something that has to be on your daily menu.

Number ten – there’s no dealing with moodiness on the part of your partner. So whether it’s his pissiness over his favorite team not winning the Super Bowl, or her pissiness as associated with her monthly cycle. Whatever it happens to be, you don’t have to deal with it because they’re not your emotional cleanup to make. Right? There’s no emotional cleanup to make. Absolutely none. They’re just your sexual partners.

So how do we get to a place where we’re able to successfully communicate to others that all we’re interested in is casual sex dating because that is a big question? Well, I’ll tell you how.

Number one – you never ever, ever, ever, ever invite this person out on a date. Okay? It is strictly come over, let’s fuck. That’s it. Right? No dates, no dinner, no movies, none of that stuff.

Number two – let them see you with other people. Let them see you enjoying yourself with other people whether that’s other men, other women, whatever your stick is, let’s them see you enjoying yourself. So that they don’t think that it’s monogamous.

Number three – there’s no cuddling after sex, no holding each other, no whispering in each other’s ear, no sweet nothings, no passionate kisses on the lips that are after sex. If you want to kiss during sex, that’s fantastic, but that’s a very intimate thing. I’m the sort of person where unless I’m really crazy about the person, I really don’t want to be kissing them, or fuck them. But I don’t want to be kissing them because when you fuck, you can put on a condom, so you’re protected. When you kiss, you can’t put a condom on your tongue, so you’re not protected. So in my book, it’s way too intimate for most casual sexual encounters to engage in really heavy kissing.

Number four – no nicknames. No sugar dumpling, or sweet cheeks, or honey love, none of that. That’s just lame, and that’s for your girlfriend or your boyfriend.

Number five – you never spend the night. You never have a toothbrush over there. You never have your hairdryer there. You never had an extra change of clothing there because you’re not spending the fucking night. You’re going over there to have sex, and then you’re going home.

Number six – no gifts, ever, ever. No gifts. We’re not giving something in exchange for sex. That’s not how this operates. We’re just having casual sex.

Number seven – we never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever discuss our feelings. Coming from a shrink, you might this is a little weird, but I will tell you that if you do want to discuss your feelings with somebody that implies that you’ve got an emotional connection to them, and is probably not the right person to be having casual dating sex with. So if you get into a situation wherein you want to start talking about your feelings, maybe the relationship is evolving beyond a casual sex date into something else. In that case, you want to treat it that way. You don’t want to bring your emotions into a casual sexual encounter because they will just blow up in your face.

Number eight – you never talk in the future tense. You never talk about what’s going to happen next week, or next month, or next year. You keep it present. You keep it very Zen, and very in the here and now.

Number nine – you never ask about his or her plans, what they’re doing tomorrow, what they’re doing later tonight, what they did last weekend. You don’t care. I mean honestly, you don’t care. It doesn’t matter to you. All that matters is this moment right now. You’re seizing the day. You’re taking their body. You’re physically, sexually satisfying yourself, and that’s all that matters. That is what compels you.

And number ten – you never introduce them to anyone. So you never have to worry about mom asking about Suzy, your casual sex partner, or dad asking about Fred, your casual sex partner. There’s none of that because mom and dad don’t know Suzy or Fred, so it’s not a big issue.

So if you’ve got questions beyond what we’ve talked about today, and are looking for additional support and coaching, feel free to go over to my website, which is and checkout some of the coaching materials I have available. Also, got webinars and workshops and all kinds of crazy shit.

So stay tuned, until next time. Thank you for listening to the

If you’re looking to enhance your sex, dating, or relationships Maya Jordan offers personal coaching, webinars, and workshops at a reasonable cost.  Feel free to contact Maya at for more information.

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