BDSM Dating Sites

BDSM (that is, Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism) can mean many things. It’s often sensationalized to the public in TV and cinema as to simply mean bondage sex, but it’s a catch-all for a wide list of sexual preferences – often accompanied by taking up roles which set two or more people at different levels of power. This can mean many things – with sexual kinks, for example, being common – and dominant/submissive sexual partners complementing each other.

For those new to the exciting world of BDSM sex it can seem pretty daunting, as it’s hard to know where exactly to begin. But BDSM dating sites offer a great opportunity for people new to BDSM and kink. Fetish dating (sometimes known as kink dating) is a chance to connect with people who share an interest in BDSM, who understand what it’s like to try BDSM for the first time, and to explore kinks and fetishes with someone who is experienced and willing to help. ALT.com is our top recommended BDSM site which is operated by the well know Adult Friend Finder network.  We feel it’s the best BDSM dating site for finding people with an interest in BDSM sex.

Why do people enjoy BDSM?


BDSM has only become more and more popular in recent years – and for good reason. Many people find that BDSM games and fetish sex turn them on because it’s an opportunity to either be dominated in bed (and give up control) or dominate (and have total control). These extremes of power are highly erotic, and they can be used in different ways to suit the tastes of all participants involved.

BDSM has also become so popular because of the mindset its community encourages. There is no ‘normal’ or ‘weird’ in the BDSM community – rather, people are accepted for who they are, and what they like. For example, many use the BDSM world to explore non-conventional sexual preferences (not just limited to Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) in a space where they can be sure they won’t be judged.

On top of this, the BDSM community is a place where people can ignore the role they are expected to play in society (for example, you often hear about powerful business men who want to be dominated away from work) and – to some extent – be more true to themselves. Many see BDSM training people to embrace their sexual fantasies, and encouraging escapism, and there’s even been suggestions that BDSM relationships could be more healthy.

Although Fifty Shades of Grey painted quite a narrow picture of BDSM, it’s still mostly responsible for this sudden increase in its popularity. The book provided many women in particular with the answer to the question: what is BDSM? And also gave people a safe way into the world of BDSM by introducing it into popular culture.

BDSM Dating

BDSM Dating Tips


If you’re one of those people for whom Fifty Shades changed everything – or you’re looking to explore the world of BDSM, then BDSM dating is a great way to begin. But if you want a pleasant, satisfying dating experience then it’s good to follow some simple rules:

  1. Be honest

Many people who enter the BDSM community for the first time have been used to hiding their sexual preferences (whatever they may be). The first thing you need to do is try to embrace your desires, and be honest about what they are, and who you are.

  1. Be VERY clear about boundaries

When you’re exploring new things it’s important that you can stay in your comfort zone. By setting out clear boundaries early in any BDSM relationship you have, you can make sure that the other person understands what you want, and knows exactly what you don’t.

  1. Have a safe word

Lots of BDSM revolves around enacting fantasies and taking on roles. But it’s important that you can exit these roles if anything makes you uncomfortable. Having a safe word is the easiest – and most commonly understood – way to do this.

  1. But be open to new ideas

You might discover new things about yourself.

  1. Have a list of things you’re willing to try

It takes no time to make one, and it’ll help you get organized and find someone with overlapping interests. A list is also the easiest way to communicate things you’re willing to your partner if you already have one.

  1. First, get to know the person.

A BDSM relationship is just like any other relationship. You should get to know your partner first to see if you’re compatible. Maybe go on a romantic dinner?

  1. Take it slow

It’s easy to enter the BDSM world and go wild with your newfound freedom. But it’s important you take your time exploring all the possibilities – if you go slowly, you’ll soon find out what makes you tick, and enjoy it all the more.

Try out ALT.com, our top rated BDSM dating site and get a free trial!